Powerful Princesses, Cowardly Knights, and a Society Drifting from God

This is one of probably many indicators or how society is becoming disconnected from being rooted in a Judeo-Christian foundation. What is the indicator? A loss of the truly great male hero, and the winning of the female princess. These two things go together. The loss of them is an indication of the loss of a Christian foundation. 

Why? The Christian foundation has a clear hero. The Messiah. The Christ. He is foretold as the hero and all of history revolves around events leading to His revelation. He is clearly a man and His intent is to rescue and redeem His bride. He has a female princess He is coming to save and He saves her by laying down His life for her. His work of redemption results in His brides exultation and rescue. At His second coming (which is yet to happen) He will initiate the great marriage supper where He celebrates the rescue He has accomplished. What has happened as we drift from a society which used to be more socially rooted in Christian values. Well we have moved from the great male hero to the flawed male hero to the ascendancy of the mostly flawless female hero. This is the natural drift of men as they move into a place of more and more overt embrace of the desires of men which are laced with unrecognized rebellion against God. 

As we drift from an anchoring in God we begin to develop as a society a substitute for things which remind us of the great hero of history. We don't want Jesus so we begin the drift by making it negative to want to see a princess get rescued. We want the princess to rescue herself. We want her to be empowered because in a way she represents us and we don't want, to need, to be rescued. We want to be the hero of our own story and so we want to rescue ourselves. It is a tragic drift because saving ourselves is ridiculous and the female hero is usually unbelievable and ridiculous when you really think about it. This is coupled with the flawed male hero. We make the male hero unattractive. He is not chivalrous. He is often corrupt or corruptible. Of course this is the result of wanting to tarnish the image of the hero which echos the greatest hero of Jesus. 

What society wants to assert is how we can save ourselves and we don't need Jesus. But this very simply does not work in the real world. Because we can't ultimately save ourselves, and we do need Jesus. A return to a God focused life would lead our society back to stories of real virtuous heroes who rescue and redeem real princesses and live happily ever after. Because this is our real hope, for our real hero, who rescues us for an eternity with Him.

How do you make a marriage work?

According to an article on Yahoo today titled, "10 Ways to Make Your Marriage Divorceproof" it just takes some simple rules and reminders. What I find interesting about the article is that it reflects a desire among people in general. They want to have a successful meaningful committed relationship with someone. People want this because down deep inside there is something telling us that there really is something to be found in a relationship like that.

I think that this longing reflects God's command to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden (Genesis 2:24). There is a desire within all of us to become one flesh with another. I believe it is this longing that inspires movie themes where people share a body or live out their lives in another body (think Avatar). This longing is deep seated in us and yet we are fallen, prideful and selfish. This trifecta of sins brings disarray to almost any relationship and especially marriage. And while the rules and reminders may strike a cord with you and be cute in their own way marriage problems are not this simple. Tony Robbins for all of his work in performing well in multiple levels of multiple relationships in life failed in the most intimate of relationships himself. Now I am no big Tony Robbins fan but the point is that here is someone the secular world considers to be a pinnacle performance guy. He could utilize all of the research He wanted and as long as he relies on the wisdom of men he is bound ultimately to fail.

How do you make a marriage work? All marriages need the Lord Jesus if they want real success. It is only in Him and His grace that we are given the tools of real success. On our own we are bound to fail. We will fail each other. We will bring disappointment. We will cause hurt. But when we realize the great grace that is ours in Jesus it gives us a framework for extending that grace to another. We can begin to live our marriages not just for personal fulfillment but for cosmic fulfillment in bringing glory to God. Moving our eyes from our spouse to our God and seeking to live out the role He has called us to, will make for a better marriage for anyone (Ephesians 5:31-33). Do you really want your marriage to work then the place to start is sitting at the feet of Jesus and learning of Him. He will show you grace and give you love that will lay a foundation for doing the same with your spouse.

The Cohabitation Conundrum

Marriage is declining and cohabitation is on the rise. How has this come to be? A God focused perspective can point to only one thing. "There is no fear of God before their eyes."(Romans 3:18) It was God who created marriage. It was God who made it between one man and one woman for one's lifetime. It was God who in His law said we should not commit adultery. It was God who created this marriage union to symbolize His Son's relationship to His bride (the redeemed) (Ephesians 5:31-32). As the world drifts from believing in the God of the Bible they drift from what He has said and why its important. This does not mean that we just give up and go against God. What this means is that we must be more burdened for the lost people of this world than ever before. They glibly store up God's wrath against themselves with reckless abandon. They encourage one another in public by publishing articles like the one that sparked this blog (Going Cohab? 8 survival tips for staying together). Jonathan Edwards said once in a sermon, "When someone has suffered in the fires of God's wrath in hell for 10,000 years they will not be one day closer to the end than the day that they entered." This is a terrible fate. People are choosing it without a thought by simply following their hearts, which are in natural rebellion against God. Be heart broken for them. Pray for them. Seek to reach them with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Keep the fires of compassion for them alive by living with your eyes firmly fixed on Jesus. Never forget that Jesus can save them because we know He has saved us from the same fate.

Is it really the recessions fault?

An AP article posted on Yahoo news blames the recession for a marked decline in marriages. The article, "Recession rips at US marriages, expands income gap" imagines a link between the recession and lack of marital commitment. This is a false equivalency. During this same recessionary period people are spending money on things that they want. They make iPads one of the best product intro's ever for Apple. They make the iPhone 4 its fastest selling phone ever. They are continuing to go to movies (we are just finishing September and total box office for this year is approaching last years total ticket numbers). Wine sales are up this year over last. All of this to say that as a people we are doing what we want to do.

The primary reason that people are not getting married is because they do not want to. In our society we seem to realize that this might not be a good thing over all. Certainly it can't be our fault. Let's blame it on the recession. The fact that we don't want to make the commitment of marriage can't be the reason.

The real problem is that people no longer seem to have an aversion to adultery. The atheistic philosophies of our schools and universities have successfully eradicated any sense of moral commitment to marriage. This aversion to marriage is paraded across our TV and movie screens as well. The entire society is beating a drumbeat of me, me, me, me. When our focus is what is in it for me a commitment to someone else fails the "me" test. With no morally compelling reason to commit it is no wonder that marriage is in decline. This should be alarming to us because it signals a real failure of the christian community to be salt and light in our society (Matthew 5:13-16). When you look at the Matthew passage salt and light is not something that we become. Jesus says that we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. In other words without us the world has no salt to bring flavor to life and without us the world has no light to truly see by. God has called us to Himself and placed us where He has placed us for a reason. We must see this and embrace the reality that is before us. Do you know someone who claims to be a Christian that is living with someone else or considering doing so? This might be one of the most difficult things you have ever done, but you should reach out to them in love. Don't condemn but point them to Christ. Help them to realize their need of repentance. Help them to see that to actively engage in pursuing sinful actions against God is to hold the cross of Christ in contempt. Be broken for them because this is where the hardest of hearts come from. Make sure that they know they are loved and that their heart and life should be focused on the Lord Jesus. Do we want to see our society regain its moral bearings? It must begin with individuals caring enough about others to help them catch a vision for pursuing Jesus Christ.

Not seeing the big point because of all the little points

There is a great article by Steven Crowder on Foxnews.com about, "Why NOT Having Sex Might be Good for You". I really like the article. He makes some great points. But (and for me this is a really big but) he misses the main reason why not having sex before marriage is good for you. Are you ready...its because that is the way that God designed it to work. God is not a cosmic killjoy (as many believe). After all He is the one who created sex in the first place. It was His idea. It was such an awesome thing that He designed the best way for it to be used so that it would be beneficial in multiple ways to both men and women. When we deviate from God's plan we are saying that we know better than the creator of these things what it is for and how to use it. Newsflash...the designer of something knows more about it than most users. In this case God gave us guidelines for the best use of sex and that best and proper use of sex within the sanctity of marriage should cause us to truly marvel at the greatness of our Lord Jesus the creator of all things (1 Corinthians 10:31). A proper perspective on all of God's creation will continually drive us to live a more God focused life.

The primacy of our marriages

Today is my wife and I's anniversary. We usually take some time off every year to get away for a day or three and just spend concentrated time together. Since we are still working with newborns we thought it prudent to delay taking some time off. But in honor of the great gift that God has given us in marriage it seemed appropriate to step back and dwell a bit on what it so appropriately draws our hearts to do. The married couple have a great responsibility before God. They are supposed to love each other. The husband's love should manifest itself in loving her as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). The wife's love should manifest itself in submission to and respect for her husband as she would submit to and respect Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24). Why do these two things need to be so primarily in place??? Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:31-32 that the primary reason for marriage even existing in the first place is to reflect or be a shadow of Christ relationship to His bride the church. Because marriage and Christian marriage in particular reflects Christ relationship to His bride then the Christian married couple should be concerned about what their actions say about the church. You see our marriages are primary in reflecting the diversity and unity that is found in the God head. This is a sacred and honorable opportunity. How we personally pursue God will impact our understanding of how important this symbol is to God and ultimately how important this symbol is to us. You see if we men as part of Christ's bride love and respect who He is then what He says will be of vital importance to us. We will be looking to do what we know pleases God because if we really love someone we are always looking to do what pleases them. Do we love God? Are we living a life where everything we do is seen through a focus on our Lord Jesus Christ? If we are doing this then our desire will be to see our marriages as primary. What this means is that our marriages are more important because of what they symbolize than just about any other relationship we have. Our children and friends, our jobs, our hobbies, should all come as a second place finish at best when compared to our marriage. We must guard the symbol because it speaks to those around us about the greatness of our Lord Jesus. It shows them that our relationship with Him is important because our relationship with our wives is important. You see the thing that should drive this enhanced pursuit of the relationship is the relationship with Jesus. In knowing and loving our spouses we show the world that we value things as important that God Himself values as important. Lets work on having a passionate Biblical love in our marriages this is another way in which we can love God.

How a God focused life can save a marriage

The news has had several articles about the Al and Tipper Gore's separation. If you have not heard you can find out more in an article on Foxnews called "What Hasn't Been Said About the Gores' Split". There is a lot of speculation about the changes that have entered their lives since 2000 and the loss of the election. Al has made a lot of money since then and has become very popular especially with the environmental crowd. Most people conclude that the success and money has put a huge amount of stress on the marriage. Whether it has or not the reality is that God calls men to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). This should be the second priority for any man who claims to know Jesus as his Lord. The first should be to love God (Matthew 22:37). If these things are in place then any money earned is a blessing and gift from God. Any success in life that is granted to us becomes a position that God has placed us in for the sake of advancing His kingdom. The way that fame and money destroys marriages is evidence that man centered solutions do not work. Even Tony Robbins the secular guru of personal achievement has not been able to make marriage work. In a day and age when everyone is looking for the quick fix and the perfect solution. There is no better time to turn to and follow the direction and calling of God. After all He designed marriage it would seem that following His advice would be the best thing we could do.