The Real Needs Bullying Reveals

In the grocery store, on the news, almost everywhere you turn you find the topic of, "Bullying" is getting big coverage. It seems to come in waves. Usually the topic comes up when someone is killed or commits suicide because they have been bullied. It is such a big deal the U.S. Government has gotten in on addressing the issue with a web site, http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/.

Bullying is really an issue of the heart. None of the web sites I looked at was able to give real answers. Why? Because people can only impose physical restrictions on other people. The issue of bullying can arise from a variety of sources, but at the end of the day someone is becoming more popular or powerful at someone else's expense. In a society that has largely turned its back on God it is no wonder that bullying and other issues like it will be on the rise. Bullying grows when pride grows in our hearts and we think more highly of ourselves than we aught to think.

This happened very early on in the Bible when Joseph was bullied by his brothers for his dreams and his favored status. How did Joseph handle such mistreatment? He recognized that God is sovereign and He must have allowed it for a reason (Genesis 50:20). Without a relationship with a sovereign God there would have been no way for Joseph to see things through the way that he did. He embraced what God placed before Him and in the end He was used mightily by God to save many people's lives. God used His brother's bullying and evil intent to move Joseph to Egypt and put him in a position of power.

The most effective means of dealing with bullying is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. For the one being bullied they can run to Jesus and find in Him a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Often in the context of a Christian home or Christian community of believers the bullied person can find others who really care about them and will love them.

For the bully the most effective way to overcome the pride that often drives bullying is to repent of their sin and trust in Jesus as their Lord and God. The movie, "To Save a Life" deals with passive bullying. It recognizes that the only way to effectively deal with bullying is to deal with the heart. The most effective way to deal with the heart is to introduce someone to Jesus Christ. He takes out our heart of stone and gives us a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). Anything short of this sort of transformation is simply a band-aid on something that’s broken. Become an agent of change. Get your eyes firmly fixed on Jesus and reach out in love to the those who are hurting others and those who are being hurt. Introducing them to Jesus is the best and most effective means of real heart change.

Is it really the recessions fault?

An AP article posted on Yahoo news blames the recession for a marked decline in marriages. The article, "Recession rips at US marriages, expands income gap" imagines a link between the recession and lack of marital commitment. This is a false equivalency. During this same recessionary period people are spending money on things that they want. They make iPads one of the best product intro's ever for Apple. They make the iPhone 4 its fastest selling phone ever. They are continuing to go to movies (we are just finishing September and total box office for this year is approaching last years total ticket numbers). Wine sales are up this year over last. All of this to say that as a people we are doing what we want to do.

The primary reason that people are not getting married is because they do not want to. In our society we seem to realize that this might not be a good thing over all. Certainly it can't be our fault. Let's blame it on the recession. The fact that we don't want to make the commitment of marriage can't be the reason.

The real problem is that people no longer seem to have an aversion to adultery. The atheistic philosophies of our schools and universities have successfully eradicated any sense of moral commitment to marriage. This aversion to marriage is paraded across our TV and movie screens as well. The entire society is beating a drumbeat of me, me, me, me. When our focus is what is in it for me a commitment to someone else fails the "me" test. With no morally compelling reason to commit it is no wonder that marriage is in decline. This should be alarming to us because it signals a real failure of the christian community to be salt and light in our society (Matthew 5:13-16). When you look at the Matthew passage salt and light is not something that we become. Jesus says that we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. In other words without us the world has no salt to bring flavor to life and without us the world has no light to truly see by. God has called us to Himself and placed us where He has placed us for a reason. We must see this and embrace the reality that is before us. Do you know someone who claims to be a Christian that is living with someone else or considering doing so? This might be one of the most difficult things you have ever done, but you should reach out to them in love. Don't condemn but point them to Christ. Help them to realize their need of repentance. Help them to see that to actively engage in pursuing sinful actions against God is to hold the cross of Christ in contempt. Be broken for them because this is where the hardest of hearts come from. Make sure that they know they are loved and that their heart and life should be focused on the Lord Jesus. Do we want to see our society regain its moral bearings? It must begin with individuals caring enough about others to help them catch a vision for pursuing Jesus Christ.

Confronting our brother

This is probably one of the most-ignored tenets of Scripture because obeying it forces us out of our comfort zone. As Americans, we naturally gravitate toward the easy path whether it’s diet gimmicks which promise weight loss without exercise and healthy eating, get-rich-quick schemes or sexual “freedom” without acknowledging the consequences.

While the mandate to confront a brother seems pretty clear, I have managed to come up with all kinds of creative excuses not to obey this command. Usually the thought process goes something like this: well, I’m not really sure he did such-and-such, or, it’s really too vague to know if what he did was specifically unscriptural, or, it’s just going to turn him off if I confront him—all convenient excuses which ignore God’s intent. The reason for this disobedience stems from same reason as any other sin: we decide that we’re the ultimate arbiters of truth and redefine God’s law to fit our desires.

I recently had to confront a Christian brother. In my case, this person owed my wife money for a business service she provided, and he failed to pay after numerous reminders. I was aware of what Matthew 18 says about confronting a brother and brought another person with me as I he had not responded after my one-on-one confrontation. When I decided to review the Matthew 18 passage prior to the meeting, I noticed something I had not considered before. The second part of Matthew 18:15 states, “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” While I wanted justice, God wanted me to gain a brother.

A selfish outlook on life looks out for our own interests, but a God focused life, like Elijah, is jealous for God’s glory and therefore doesn’t focus on our individual reputation or comfort level. If our deepest desire is God’s glory, then we will not only be willing to confront our brother, but we’ll do it for the right reason.

Why no peace for followers of God

There is an article on Foxnews.com titled, "Obama Condemns 'Senseless Slaughter' of Israelis, Vows to Sustain Peace Talks". There have been almost countless attempts at peace in the middle east. Go back to the Romans in the time of Christ for the first versions, or perhaps we need to go back earlier then that. But the fact remains that there is no peace in the middle east. Why? Fundamentally the issue is spiritual in nature. The Jews claim a divine right to the land that they believe was granted to them by God. There is language that supports this view in the Old Testament. But even Jeremiah talked about how there would be no peace (Jeremiah 8:11). There will not be peace in this world until the Prince of Peace finally sets up His Kingdom here on Earth.

I bring this issue up because tonight while out street witnessing we encountered some opposition. Some people did not want to hear the truth about the pending judgment we all face if we do not know and accept Jesus as our Lord. Jesus knew that when we took a stand in the public square for Him we would no doubt face opposition (Matthew 5:11). The unsaved man has no interest in spiritual things because he is spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1-3). We all were before we were made alive in Christ. If we realize what a great gift we have been given in Christ then we will begin to see the dilemma that faces all of those who do not know Jesus. This eternal damnation that awaits them should burden our hearts for them. We must realize that the utter terribleness of a never ending eternity suffering God's wrath is what awaits all unbelievers. Do we care? Is there a burden in our hearts for their salvation. If there is you will soon begin to see the persecution and reviling that comes to those who stand for Christ and reach out in love to the lost and dying world. May God grant us all a clearer vision of that which is coming so that we will be more diligent to seek and to save that which was lost (Luke 19:9-10).

Prop 8 - Winning battles and losing the war

Last week the news was falling all over itself to report on the overturn of proposition 8. I am not sure how this is being reported in the rest of the country so if you need to get up to speed here is an article from the San Jose Mercury News titled, "Federal judge strikes down California's ban on same-sex marriage". 50 years ago we would have said universally that homosexuality is sin and it was viewed by most people as morally reprehensible. Today this is no longer the case. Today people see pedophilia as morally reprehensible and sin. Will this still be the case 50 years from today? It is a legitimate question in the light of how our culture has changed in the last 50 years. What has happened that has brought about the changes that we see today. 50 years ago the 1960's were kicking in and free love with a strong dose of independence was the siren call many could not resist. The moral walls of our society began to crumble. What caused the walls to be so weak in the face of the immoral tide that struck it? I did not live then but I think that the roots of the problem can be traced to the church of the early twentieth century. From what I can tell in church history there was a strong reaction to the neo-orthadoxy coming out of Germany's seminaries and universities. Two things happened. Neo-orthadoxy called into question the literal inspiration of scripture and saw inspiration as being something more personal that happens when the word of God becomes inspired for me (This is a broad simplification because of space. E-mail me if you want to discuss this.). The second thing is the conservative church over-reacted to what they saw as a liberal take on inspiration. Another thing was coupled with this. The church was hit with a widely distributed set of books called, "The Fundamentals". This produced a conservative swing that put up code of conduct fences and condemnation fences. Phrases like, "I don't smoke, I don't chew and I don't run with boys that do" were byproducts of this conservative swing. I think it was during this time that some denominations developed the theology of secondary separation. In a nutshell they separated themselves from anyone that did not adhere to their brand of doctrine. Some denominations still hold this view to this day. What happened is, we added a whole bunch of things to the Christian life and walk that were not scripture, but were held in the same regard. This did not have the intended effect of strengthening the church. Quite the opposite happened. The young people growing up in this environment in these churches saw right through the hypocrisy of it. Essentially the moral strength of the word of God was gutted by man insisting on adding his two bits to the pot. Since the churches moral base seemed to many to be arbitrary the next logical decision was that anything goes. People started crossing lines that were clearly spelled out in scripture. Line after line was crossed. The church retreated from this onslaught. Usually she demanded more and more that her position on all these added things was the right one. When she seemed to be losing the culture she resorted to politics. The church began to be seen as political -- seeking to legislate her version of morality. This brings us to today with a society that is rapidly sliding toward an ancient Roman style of life. Rome was marked by open pedophilia, gladiatorial games and meaningless marriage. The church as it appears to the world is a moral mess. She has very little integrity left. She pats herself on the back when a bunch of conservatives in California rallied the people to make a state constitutional amendment even in the face of great opposition. We won that social battle but we lost the court battle at this point, and it looks like we could lose the war.
And yet there is still hope. I see a fresh desire for God, a renewed embrace of God's word and a greater compassion for the lost. God is moving in people everywhere to ignite a passionate fire for Him in their hearts. The only way that this war will be won is in the hearts and minds of people. They have to meet the awesome God of the Bible Jesus the Christ (Psalm 24:1-5). Their moral foundation needs to be in the bedrock of His word and His word alone (Hebrews 4:12). Is this a daunting challenge? NO! God used 12 men to turn the world upside down. With God anything is possible (Mark 10:27). Be encouraged. Don't be ashamed (2 Timothy 1:12, 2:15). Keep your eyes on Jesus and show the world around you the magnificent God that you serve. Helping others to embrace a God focused life will bring them freedom from slavery to sin and give them the greatest possible future they could ever hope for. So seek the Lord and take Him with you into the world.

Righteous anger what it is and isn't

What is righteous anger? Jesus had righteous anger when He made a whip of reeds and drove out the money changers and the sellers of animals from the temple courtyard (John 2:15). 2 Samuel 12:1-6 tells us the story that Nathan told to David about the stolen lamb. In the story it tells us that David became angry at the injustice that was done. I believe that we could call David's anger at the injustice done to someone else a righteous anger. The same David refused to get angry and take vengeance on Saul when he had the opportunity (1 Samuel 24). David spoke to Saul who was after him to kill him and he told Saul that he would not strike back and take vengeance but that he would look to God to avenge him (1 Samuel 24:12). Romans 12:19 exhorts us to not take vengeance but leave it to the Lord to do.
I take from these instances a general principle that I believe holds these tensions in balance. If there is a wrong done against me or my rights as in the case of the state or a company I will not retaliate. Why? Because in this case it is God's to avenge me. If there is a wrong done to a child, a woman or the poor and oppressed and it is within my power to be a defender of the defenseless then I will give vent to my righteous anger on behalf of someone else. Lets put it like this:

If it is against me I should flee, 

but against a defenseless other 

I should become a defending brother

This would take care of all the time wasted seeking our own rights and free us up to seek the well fare of those in need. We can discern these things easier in the context of living a God focused life.

When evil becomes good and good becomes evil

The New York Times has an article titled, "Evangelist May Be Disinvited to Prayer Day Event at Pentagon". A more complete article was on Yahoo, "Army considers rescinding invitation to evangelist." Apparently the Pentagon is considering rescinding an invitation for Franklin Graham to pray at the national day of prayer event at the Pentagon. The reason for the potential recall of the invitation hinges on a statement Franklin made in 2001. After the terrorist attacks he said, "Islam is a very evil and wicked religion". Since we have Muslim employees at the pentagon people are afraid that Graham's presence might endanger American troops by stirring up Muslim extremists.
Now lets think about this logically. Our troops are in the middle east fighting muslim extremist because they attacked us first. Somehow a Christian preacher praying at what is a historically Christian tradition in a Christian country is going to stir up muslim extremist. The extremist are not already stirred up by the fact that our troops are fighting their fellow extremist?!? A preacher praying for a few minutes in our country is going to push the extremist over the edge? I guess they will now become extreme extremist (whatever that is). This is just evidence that we have become a nation that is held hostage to the radical belief that we can somehow pacify our enemy into accepting us. This will never happen and that is apparent. Since this is not a political blog why the political focus? I am glad you asked. You see we do the same thing in the church. We do it with the seeker friendly movement. All this is a watering down of the gospel to make it relevant to the unsaved. What we have done is stripped the gospel of its power to change lives in the name of having more friends. We are trying to pacify them into accepting us. This will never happen. Men and women need a change of heart in order to accept Christ. Jesus was not acceptable in His day and to the pagan He is still not acceptable. Why? Jesus requires us to repent of our sin and accept Him as our Lord. Paul called people to repent and believe in Acts 19:3-5. There are people in the church today who would tell you it is evil to share this message with someone. We have begun to call good things evil when we do this. We seem to have forgotten where we should be seeking our friends. James 4:4 says that friendship with the world makes us an enemy of God. See what we need to do is seek Christ first and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33). This will result in a transformed life and a real care and compassion for people that comes from Jesus. This is the only way that lives will be changed from evil to good. We must never give up seeking to live the God focused life.

Making the gospel relevant?

As I reflected on yesterday's post it seems to me that there are two engines that drive the vehicle of relevancy. The first engine is a misrepresentation of what the gospel is. Often the gospel message is presented in a context that is far from Biblical. (What I mean by Biblical is that it is not the way that Jesus or the apostles presented it.) It is often presented to people as if they are part of a group that needs some help getting to heaven and the cross gets us there. While the description is true in its essence there is never any need for the individuals that we share this with to feel sorry for offending a Holy God. There is no strong call to repent because there is no discussion of sin outside of the context of being part of a group of sinners. This rarely produces repentance and thus does not produce a personal need for a Savior. The second confusing way the gospel is presented is that God has a wonderful plan for your life. God does have a wonderful plan for the life of anyone who repents of his or her sin and follows Jesus as their Lord. The problem is that the idea of repentance and taking Jesus as Lord is usually not mentioned at all. It ends up being about asking Jesus into your heart. No repentance, no following required and usually none is committed to outside of a canned prayer. The gospel is all about recognizing that we are sinners and hopelessly lost without God's intervention in the person and work of Jesus Christ. If this were the gospel message that was presented there would be no need to make it relevant. The second engine that drives the vehicle of relevancy is the engine of unbelief. People simply do not believe that the work of the Holy Spirit combined with a clear Biblical gospel message is sufficient. This is simply a tragic misunderstanding of the power, purpose and work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus acted as if the message of repenting of sin and following Him was all that was needed. Take for example His interaction with the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-22. The best way I know to combat both of these problems is to focus primarily on our Lord as we engage with Him in His word.

Happiness: SELF focused vs. God focused - Part 4

This is a continuation of a post I started 4 days ago. The other day Lucy Danziger published an article called, "4 Simple Secrets to Feeling Happier Every Day." Lucy is the Editor-in-Chief of SELF magazine. This is the final point she made about happiness from a secular perspective. It is titled, "Conflict can be OK!" WOW! She deals with conflict management in a very simplistic manner in 3 very short paragraphs. There are many passages in the Bible that treat this subject in detail. A brief list would include Matthew 18:15-17, Luke 17:3-4, 1 Corinthians 6:1-8, 1 Corinthians 9:19-21. These passages cover a variety of different situations. They deal with everything from confronting a brother to forgiveness and not being able to forgive and seeking to identify with others. The scriptural perspective on conflict and managing it is dramatically different from Lucy's point of view. Lucy's conclusion is that, "Connecting, especially with friends is important to your happiness." The Holy Spirit declares to us through the word that conflict management is not about us but is for the glory of the kingdom of God. 
Let's take for example a brother or sister in our fellowship who is in sin. If we ignore the sin or gloss over it in order to be reconciled we are embracing a worldly answer. Do we condemn them? Not readily and not immediately. Our goal is their reconciliation to God. First we go to them privately and express concern as a fellow believer. We need to make sure they understand that we are coming because we too are sinners and have experienced things that separate us from God (Matthew 7:3-5). It should be our earnest desire to help them understand that what they are doing is building a wall of sin between us that we cannot overlook because we care about their relationship with God. Matthew 18 above gives additional steps to follow but the point is that conflict resolution is focused on bringing them back into fellowship and relationship with God. In the Christians case this will not always be comfortable. Sometimes we will have to forgive people that we do not feel like forgiving. We may have to separate from someone that we really like for the sake of helping them to understand the seriousness of sin. We have to remember that it is vital to stay open to embracing them and bringing them back into fellowship should they desire that. But at the end of the day the most important thing for anyone is that there is nothing standing between them and God. Remember if someone hangs onto a sin when confronted then that sin is potentially a god to them. If it is something they are holding onto and yet claiming to be a Christian then we must for their sake show them that sin separates. That is the point of separating from an unrepentant brother or sister. We are pointing out to them that if they persist in this that they may indeed be separating themselves from God. Some would say that this is judgmentalism. Unfortunately people who say this fail to understand that if this is done correctly and in love that we may truly be winning someone to true repentance. If we succeed in bringing them back into fellowship we would have literally saved them from hell with the working of the Holy Spirit bringing them to repentance. What do I want to do? Shall I accept someone, have personal peace now and watch them slip into a Christless eternity? Certainly not! We must risk all for surpassing greatness of knowing and having others know Jesus Christ our Lord.